Humor and you health!

Laughing for 15 minutes can burn between 10-20 calories.... 

check out this video


No More Meat!

 The teacher in our Bible class asked a woman to read from the Book of Numbers about the Israelites wandering in the desert. "The Lord heard you when you wailed, 'If only we had meat to eat!' " she began. "Now the Lord will give you meat. You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, or ten or twenty days, but for a month -- until you loathe it." When the woman finished, she paused, looked up and said, "Hey, isn't that the Atkins diet?" -- David Martino


Weight Loss Buddies

My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently. "Good!" I exclaimed. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Great!" she replied. "I'll ride with you." -- Katina Fisher


Bland Diet Food

My sisters and I have weight problems and are always sharing diet tips. One day my oldest sister was showing us a low-fat cookbook and pointed out a chicken dish she had tried the night before. Reading the ingredients, I commented, "It looks like it would taste really bland." "It did," she replied, "until I added cheese and sour cream."


Subtle Hint

Although I knew I had put on a few pounds, I didn't consider myself overweight until the day I decided to clean my refrigerator. I sat on a chair in front of the appliance and reached in to wipe the back wall. While I was in this position, my teenage son came into the kitchen. "Hi, Mom," he said. "Whatcha doin', having lunch?" I started my diet that day. -- Betty Strohm

Something to Prove

Although I was only a few pounds overweight, my wife was harping on me to diet. One evening we took a brisk walk downtown, and I surprised her by jumping over a parking meter, leapfrog style. Pleased with myself, I said, "How many fat men do you know who can do that?" "One," she retorted. -- R. T. McLaury


Secret Switch

After noticing how trim my husband had become, a friend asked me how I had persuaded him to diet. It was then I shared my dark secret: "I put our teenage son's shorts in his underwear drawer." -- Ruth J. Luhrs


Hiding the Evidence

A member of a diet club bemoaned her lack of will-power. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she explained, and they'd eaten half of it. The next day, however, the uneaten half beckoned. She cut herself a slice. Then another, and another. By the time she'd polished off the cake, she knew her husband would be disappointed. "What did he say when he found out?" one club member asked. "He never found out," she said. "I made another cake and ate half." -- Husain Ali


The Fine Print

Needing to shed a few pounds, my husband and I went on a diet that had specific recipes for each meal of the day. I followed the instructions closely, dividing the finished recipe in half for our individual plates. We felt terrific and thought the diet was wonderful—we never felt hungry! But when we realized we were gaining weight, not losing it, I checked the recipes again. There, in fine print, was "Serves 6." -- Barbara Currie


Putting It Off

Mother and I were discussing our mutual weight problem one evening, when I challenged her to a contest. If I lost the most weight in the next month, I wouldn't have to pay her the $6 that I owed her. If she lost the most weight, I would have to pay up. Anything for an incentive! "All right," said Mother happily. "But let's wait two weeks before we start. There are some things I have to eat first." -- Irene Lane

40 years of marriage

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding
anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.? She said,
‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each
other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’
The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling
husband
The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II
appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: ‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an
opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish
is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!…the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful should remember
fairies are female…..

Nine Words Women Use…

These are the nine words that a Woman would use often and the inherent meaning of all of these.
Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

That’s Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man.. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you’re welcome.

Whatever : Is a women’s way of saying Get Lost you Idiot!

Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.